17
Jun
Back in October I started my own movie club, and it has changed the way I watch movies.
A movie club has been a dream of mine for years, but I had decided that no one else would be interested in one, before I even tried. I studied film in college and have always been eager to talk about the latest movie I’ve seen with anyone who will listen. I’ve always wanted to spend time with my friends watching movies and talking about them afterward, but for a time I felt like I didn’t have any friends who would want to do that.
Then I met Jeff. He was excited about movies, and especially about director Christopher Nolan. In our first couple of interactions, Jeff asked me more questions about movies I liked and didn’t like than anyone had since college. It took meeting Jeff for me to realize that maybe there were some people out there who would want to join a movie club.
After meeting Jeff, I searched for additional friends who would be interested in joining the movie club. Slowly I asked a couple other friends, and finally my husband said, “stop waiting for the right people and just start it. The right people will show up.”
So in October we had our first meeting, and it was just 4 of us. My confidence wavered any time I had to make decisions about the club such as how we would pick what movie to watch, how we would cultivate discussion, and when and where to meet. I wanted so badly for everyone to have a good time that I didn’t want to be the one to make the processes for fear someone would leave because of them. Fortunately our group has grown to 7 total members and they are all very chill and flexible, so my natural organization and leadership is welcomed (though we may need to anonymously poll the members to confirm).
Here’s what I’ve learned in the first 9 months leading my movie club.
First, my movie club has allowed me to grow closer to friends who I didn’t know quite as well. When I set out to have a movie club, my goal was to invite people who were excited about movies. Often when planning hangouts, I default to asking the same friends over and over. We always have a great time, and those are some of my favorite people, but I wanted the movie club to be a group of people who love to watch movies. I thought if the people coming love movies, attendance will be more consistent and discussion will stay more focused. Our little club was originally a somewhat random group of seven people and our first meetings were honestly a little awkward. But our shared love for movies and discussing them has allowed us to grow into a comfortable group of friends. We laugh so much during movie club, and I never would have gotten that experience if I hadn’t looked specifically for people who are also passionate about movies.
Second, movie club has allowed me to watch movies I never would have watched otherwise and to appreciate new genres. We have a shared Google Doc where members add suggested movies, and then I use a random number generator to select 2 movies from the list. We vote between the two movies to select our movie for that month’s movie club. By allowing all members to add suggestions there have been a few picks that I haven’t seen before, and probably wouldn’t have made the time to watch on my own. I had never seen Forrest Gump before, and that was a particularly fun movie club night. We also watched Captain Fantastic, which I had never heard of, but it stimulated some of the most interesting group discussion. I have also developed an appreciation for thriller movies, which previously I had always labeled as too stressful for me. We watched Parasite a few months ago and it was a completely different experience watching a thriller with a group. Several other members were also stressed throughout the movie and there ended up being quite a bit of talking and laughing throughout the film, which put me more at ease. I would have never picked that movie to watch on my own, but I enjoyed the experience watching it with the group and would honestly be open to trying out more thrillers.
Third, something doesn’t have to be expensive or Instagram-worthy to be life-giving. My movie club is one of the most consistently chill activities I participate in. We all come wearing our sweats and no one has to bring anything. I host it at my house, but we keep it super simple. We don’t do a huge Instagram-worthy charcuterie board, or themed decorations. We pop some popcorn, sometimes open a bottle of wine, and gather around the TV. I don’t know about you, but my social media feed is consistently filled with people going over the top for all occasions. Whether it’s a birthday party or just girls night, they create insane food displays and decorations. What I love about movie club is that it’s so chill, there isn’t any big fan fare, and yet we all keep showing up month after month. Next time you feel pressure to create a hangout that looks like what you see on social media, remember that fun people will always have a good time, whether or not you have color coordinated snacks or matching PJs.
Finally, my movie club has broadened my definition of community. Before movie club I would have said my community were people from church, and the people I spend the most time with. But now with my movie club, I’m realizing that a community doesn’t have to be people you see all the time, or who you’ve shared all your trauma with. The members of my movie club are part of my community because they are a group of people who know and share one of my greatest passions, film. Your community can be made up of different groups of people who you share parts of your life with.
Maybe movies aren’t your thing, maybe it’s something else. But whatever it is, I would highly recommend finding a group of people who are passionate about the same thing. Join a club, a discord server, or start your own if you can’t find one that exists. It’s never too late to start building a community around your hobbies, because chances are someone else would love to dive deep into it as well.