28
Sep '25
I’ve recently finished watching The Summer I Turned Pretty TV series, and when I tell you this show has had me in a choke hold, I mean that I have been anxiously awaiting Wednesday nights when new episodes come out. I have been enraged over and over again by the choices the characters make, and I have hated myself for liking this show so much.
But as the show has ended and the online discourse has prevailed on which brother was the “right choice” for Belly, I’ve been reflecting on the show overall and the message it sends especially to young female viewers.
Unfortunately I think there are 2 themes in the show that could negatively impact young girls:
Female characters that lack confidence, self worth and decisiveness
Male characters that are selfish and emotionally abusive
Let’s take these one by one.
- Female characters that lack confidence, self worth, and decisiveness
Throughout all 3 seasons of the show, both Belly and Taylor make serious mistakes when it comes to confidence and decisiveness. While Taylor is often the strong confident friend, we see her struggle to commit to Steven, refuse to tell him how she really feels for worry of looking weak or being rejected, and be afraid to accept help when life gets tough with her mom.
And unfortunately Belly is worse. We watch her people please throughout all three seasons instead of speaking up for what she wants. We watch her fail to be honest with her partner both when she’s with Conrad and later when she’s with Jeremiah. And perhaps her worst failing of all, not trusting her partner with her complex feelings after the Christmas day at the beach house with Conrad in Season 3. While I understand the risk of sharing that experience, it’s those vulnerable moments with a partner that often draw two people closer.
Let’s move on to the second theme that could negatively affect young female viewers.
- Male characters that are selfish, and emotionally abusive.
Emotional abuse is often seen in this pattern of the abuser making the victim feel not good enough, through unkind verbal remarks or not giving them attention. But what makes it a pattern is then the abuser switches to being kind, and pulls the victim close, only to push them away again. And the victim keeps coming back.
Conrad is this way with Belly. During season 1, we learn a lot of his behavior is born from the weight of knowing his mom had terminal cancer and he wasn’t sharing that burden with anyone. But hear me when I say this, that alone is a red flag! This personality flaw, feeling like he needs to deal with everything on his own, and he has to carry everything for everyone else doesn’t just disappear in adulthood, it’s a behavior that takes intentional work to overcome. His way of coping throughout season 1 is by being mean to Belly which he never really apologizes for.
It’s honestly astonishing to me that the internet loves him, and thinks he’s this all perfect man, when throughout season 1 and 2 he makes fun of her, says terrible things to her, treats her like she has no worth, denies that they almost kissed, and tells her that getting together was a mistake at his mother’s funeral. Is he behaving this way out of trauma and pain? Yes. But just because someone is going through something that doesn’t give them the right to treat other people as disposable.
Am I here to just hate on Conrad? No, absolutely not. Jeremiah also shows a lot of selfishness throughout all 3 seasons, but he doesn’t toy with her emotions. He doesn’t manipulate her to get what he wants when he wants it.
What concerns me, is that Conrad, this so-called “desirable” male character, doesn’t just have flaws (all people have flaws) he has flaws that hurt other people over and over again. And it makes me ask questions about what type of partner women and young girls watching this show begin to look for, because this isn’t the first show or movie to represent “desirable” male characters with these concerning flaws. While many of us women in our 30s can watch the show and enjoy it for the drama it is without it affecting our lives too much, we know that media shapes young people, especially young girls and this show sends them a message about what type of treatment they should accept.
This blog post isn’t a cry for Belly to choose Jeremiah. It’s a cry for women and especially young girls everywhere, to choose someone better than both Jeremiah and Conrad. It’s a plea for women to know their own worth, and to not settle for someone who will cause you pain because they are going through something. It’s a cry to not settle for someone who can’t express their emotions, and who uses avoidance as a coping mechanism. It’s a cry to wait for and look for a man who will see you for your true worth, apologize when he’s done wrong, and treat you like an equal.